Bring the Children to Jesus

I'll share a quick blessing! I was sitting on the front pew with my son during the singing Sunday morning. He leaned in to ask me where he could sit during the sermon. I was scheduled to preach the morning service, and he wanted to sit with someone during the sermon.

I told him that he could either sit with my parents who were in town visiting, or he could choose to sit with his grandparents. Both places would be good quiet spots where he'd be encouraged to pay attention and sit quietly. Well, he was upset with himself because he couldn't decide. He had two good choices and was faced with making a tough decision for a 6-year-old. For a minute I thought about making the choice for him, but on second thought I decided maybe this would be a good opportunity to give him a choice. I didn't decide for him. It would be good for him to work through a tough decision for himself.

The next song we sang was How Great the Father's Love for Us in our praise binders. It's one of my favorite praise songs. It was the first praise song our church sang years ago when we began introducing praise music into the service.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

As we were singing, I happened to glance over at him. Big tears were streaming down both his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong. Without responding to my question, he quickly got up, crawled into my lap, and buried his face into my shoulder. I held him, gently rubbed his back, and kept on singing for a few moments. After a few moments went by I quietly whispered in his ear and asked him if he was alright. He said no. Then I asked him if he was sad about trying to choose where to sit. He leaned back, looked at me, and replied "I'm sad that Jesus had to die on the cross."


Wow! I was blown away. I was so glad to hear him express what was in his tender heart. I'm glad his thoughts are turned toward Jesus and thinking about the Cross. Maybe God is beginning to draw him as he listens to the gospel story in our daily Bible readings. I know he's always particularly interested in the Cross and Jesus. I love his questions and I can almost see him thinking about it all, wondering what it means to him personally.


In the few moments I had left I assured him that Jesus wanted to die on the cross for our sins. I told him that if Jesus didn't die on the cross then we couldn't be saved and know Him. That seemed to reassure him. It reminded me that God will use His Word to open our hearts at the strangest of moments. And when it happens it's intimate, personal, and meaningful. What a great and powerful God we serve. I'm thankful He takes time to speak to us as individuals. I'm grateful He is speaking in the hearts of my children.


Matthew 18:2-4  And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.


Matthew 19:14  But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Little Chef

Have you watched Disney's Ratatouille? Here’s the movie summary from IMDb's website:

Remy is a young rat in the French countryside who arrives in Paris, only to find out that his cooking idol is dead. When he makes an unusual alliance with a restaurant's new garbage boy [named Linguini], the culinary and personal adventures begin despite Remy's family's skepticism and the rat-hating world of humans.

There’s this one very funny scene where Remy is under Linguini’s chef hat and he’s pulling Linguini’s hair trying to control his movements while cooking. Basically, the rat is on his head and steering him around the kitchen like a marionette, causing all kinds of funny results. The two are learning how to work together while they cook together.

Well, that’s me and my triplets. We’re trying to learn how to work together while we cook together. Cooking is NOT one of my strong suits. Oh, I can do it, but I don’t like it. When the kids are gone I survive off of peanut butter sandwiches or leftovers. It’s a great weight loss program. So how do I make things interesting for both my kids and I in the kitchen?

The answer came one day by accident.

I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and H was under my feet.

“What’s that?”

“How come you put that in there?”

“Can I look?”

“Let me stir!”

I was about to come unglued. I turned to H and said “Are you trying to be a Little Chef?” I was thinking about that rat pulling Linguini’s hair and how it drove him nuts. But, she thought that I was making a joke and she loved the nickname! The Little Chef was born. Now every night one of the kids takes turns being my Little Chef. By the way, my son now calls me Big Chef. I’d like to think it’s because I’m taller than him.

This has been so fun. What started in a moment of frustration has turned into one of our most enjoyable times of the day as a father/daughter or father/son. I get one-on-one time with them, dinner gets made, and the kids learn how to help me and make a dish. We usually laugh a lot, and I get to tell them what a great job they're doing. Of course, kids always love hearing their parent tell them that they are doing a good job.

Last night was Waffle Night. A favorite in our home. There were many opportunities to teach.

Science: how does the batter turn into a waffle?

Math: what does 1 1/3 cup look like? What’s 1/3 of something?

Machines: DON’T PUT YOUR FINGERS NEAR THE HAND MIXER! (Just kidding, in case my ex is reading this too.)

There have also been a few unexpected benefits of the Big Chef/Little Chef experiment. I’m learning to attach other kitchen duties to the title of Little Chef! Now Little Chefs are also responsible to help set the table, carry over glasses, put ingredients away, and help me pack lunches for the next day!

What a blessing for me as a Dad! I get extra help, stuff gets done that I used to have to do, we spend good time together, and they WANT to help me.

You get what I’m talking about, Dads. Make the moment about more than just cooking. Make it about teaching them and spending time with them. Try to find a way to turn something you don't look forward to doing into something fun. Make separating laundry into a game about colors. Picking up toys can be a time to sing a silly song together. And almost any chore can become a conversation about serving others and putting yourself last.

Don’t tell anybody, but I kind of like being in the kitchen now.

A Wise Young Man or An Old Foolish King

Ecclesiastes 4:13 A young man who is poor and wise is better than an old, foolish king who won't take advice any longer.

I saw this verse posted on Facebook a couple of days ago and it's been running through my thoughts. I think it was meant as a dig against President Obama right after his State of the Union speech. But where others see a verse about politics I see a verse that describes two very different people. How does one child become wise and another grow up to become a fool? I'm striving to aim my kids in the direction their life will go. Like an arrow aimed at a target, they are taking off and heading toward a destination. Will they be wise, or will they be a fool?

Think about young David for a moment with me. Do you think King David's father, Jessie, saw young David as a future king? I don't think any of David's family saw him that way growing up. They had no idea what God had in store for that shepherd boy. When the prophet Samuel showed up at Jesse's house to meet each of Jesse's eight boys, only seven of them were introduced. David, the youngest, was left out in the field tending the sheep. As Samuel looked over the seven sons presented to him that night, he even thought one of David's older brothers, Eliab, was God's chosen based on his appearance. But God is always looking deeper at our heart and character.

1 Samuel 16:6-7  And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD'S anointed is before him. But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.

David was soon anointed to be the next king over Israel and God's Spirit rested on him. And, we have all grown up reading how David fought Goliath. In fact, it's my son's favorite story. He can tell you how many stones David picked up (five), what Goliath called David (a dog), and which way Goliath fell down (forward). But before David ever fought Goliath, he was just a young man faithfully and obediently running an errand for his father. When David showed up at the front line his brothers clearly thought David was a boy among men.

1 Samuel 17:28-30  And Eliab his eldest brother heard when he spoke unto the men; and Eliab's anger was kindled against David, and he said, Why came you down here? and with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride, and the insolence of your heart; for you are come down that you might see the battle. And David said, What have I now done? Is it not a word? And he turned from him toward another, and spoke after the same manner: and the people answered him again after the former manner.

In spite of his brother's lowly opinion of him, David knew that Goliath was defying God. Something great and courageous stirred in David's young heart and he spoke up. Word got around the camp and he was invited to stand before Israel's first king, Saul. Saul agreed to let David represent all of Israel and fight Goliath. King Saul offered David his armor to wear in battle. David declined. He trusted in the sling and stones he'd used to fight off lions and bears in the sheep pastures. Wisdom, courage, simplicity, boldness, and a trust in God all in the heart of a young man. We know how the story turned out.

I'd like my kids to be like young David. I'd rather my kids be poor and wise than rich and foolish. I'd rather they be governed by God's Words than popular opinion. I'd rather they stand for Jesus than stand with the in-crowd. I'd rather they speak up for Truth than choose to fly under the radar unnoticed.

The king in Ecclesiastes 4:13 was a fool because he would no longer take any sound advice from anyone. He had all the position, all the money, and all the authority that came with his title. But age and life experience couldn't change the fact that he was still a fool for not listening to God.

PRAYER:
God, help my kids to have open hearts and listening ears. I want them to hear your Word and take it down into their hearts where it can change them. Don't let them be influenced by their classmates and what they see around them at school. Help our home to be a place where the kids' questions are answered with Your Truth and not my opinions or preferences. Keep me diligent.

Long Life? Don't Provoke Your Kids!

Ephesians 6:2-4  Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

So much of raising our kids is focused on their future. I think about what my kids will become, who they will marry, what kind of people they will turn out to be. You probably have thought about some of the same things too. Sometimes though it's all we can do to get through a single day without losing our patience.

I want to spend a minute talking about how we prepare our kids for the future. Ephesians 6:2 is a command with promise. If you are any kind of a Bible reader you've probably read that verse and wondered how long God is going to let you live for all the stuff you pulled growing up. I know I have!

So the promise says that if we honor our parents we may live long on the earth. First, it doesn't mean you ARE going to live a long time. But the grace of God will be watching over you and God only knows how long each of us are going to live. You do benefit from the promise. God's promises never fail. A long life is determined from God's perspective and not our own.

Job 14:5 Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. (NIV)

But, fathers, notice the whole passage. The promise if followed by a command to dads! It tells us not to provoke our children to anger, or wrath. Wrath here means to be enraged or exasperated. It's a condition where you become overtaken and overwhelmed by anger. The anger controls your actions and rules your heart.

Why not mothers? Let's face it guys. For the most part women have us beat here. They've got the whole nurturing thing kind of built in. Not to say all women do, but we don't need to take a poll on this one or wait for a study to be published. As a single Christian father I can tell you that I've had to LEARN how to be more nurturing. I'm more of a "walk it off" kind of parent than a "let me kiss it and make it better" kind of guy. Maybe you are too.

We really need to take time and consider the individual needs of each of our children. What are their strengths? How do they respond to discipline? Where are areas they need to mature? How can their personalities be shaped to honor God and not serve themselves? If we are honest about our obligation to teach and guide our kids we quickly learn how much we need to be in prayer for them and ourselves.

When we take shortcuts in answering the questions above (and all the other questions I didn't mention) we can find ourselves provoking our children and turning their hearts against us. Our shortcuts are reflected in their lives and hearts. We want them to listen to our counsel, not despise our influence. Let me leave you with this passage.

Proverbs 4:20-22  My son, attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

PRAYER:
God, help us as Fathers to have this kind of relationship with our children. We don't want to provoke them. We don't want to appease them. We want to give them words of life and wisdom that will follow them throughout their life and lead them choose and turn their hearts toward your Son Jesus.

"Of Course She's Beautiful!"

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long for my second post. I misplaced my password and then my modem died. One week without the internet showed me just how much I relied on looking things up. Glad to be back at it.

TV isn't safe for young children to watch without a parent in the room. You might be ready to click over to another website right about now. STAY WITH ME. I'm not an extremist and I do realize I live in the world and not apart from it. Truth be told, I probably have too many televisions in my house. And there are a few shows I like that really make me laugh. I probably never miss a Colts game unless I'm at church service, although I've slept through a lot of the games this season.

Let me relate just a little story about what happened this morning. I was sitting on the couch waiting for my first attempt at Monkey Bread to cook in the over. So, 25 minutes until cinnamon and butter bliss. So, with J on my lap, I turned the television on to the Qubo channel. That's got to be the coolest kid's station. The cartoons don't represent adults as idiots waiting to be corrected by their children. They teach good moral values in many of the shows. And if you find yourself up late at night and can't sleep you will be rewarded with old episodes of He-Man. Boy, He-Man is really lame when you're an adult. And why doesn't he put on some pants. It reminds me of the Saturday Night Live Fun House skit, The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Seriously, shaggy underwear bikini pants. That's the height of fashion on other planets?

Well, we're watching Jane and the Dragon when it goes to commercial. Usually this is the time my kids start shopping for the toys that are advertised (today it was the blanket puppet???). But this time the commercial was for some weight loss product. My girls sat and watched as one woman after another promoted a weight loss patch guaranteed to make you thin, beautiful, more employable (seriously), and stronger. It's was the fountain of vanity. My brain was thinking quickly about whether to mute it or turn the channel.

At the end of the commercial weight loss commercial a grandma says "Now I'm beautiful!" J looked at the television and said "Of course she's beautiful. Daddy, she's already beautiful. She doesn't need that." Out of the mouth of babes. A marketing expert somewhere just got smacked down. A six year old blew up his ad campaign!

But that's just a microcosm of what's on television. Count on one hand the commercials that sell their product and don't use sex. Local car commercials are about the only ones that don't use that method, instead going for loud and obnoxious voiceovers. I honestly saw a commercial the other day that used sex to sell butter. Butter! How dumb have we gotten? Marketers have adults pegged, but my six year old saw right through it. That old lady was pretty without the patch.

We've just got to use common sense and remember what God's Word tells us. Fathers, it's our job to monitor these things in our home and lead. LEAD! I'm big on that for future note. Let's be aware of what's going into our kids’ eyes and ears. No, we can't keep them from everything. Nor should we try. But the principles are there for us to use, so let's use them.

Deuteronomy 7:26 Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction. Utterly abhor and detest it, for it is set apart for destruction.

Psalm 101:2-3 ... I will set before my eyes no vile thing. ...

Alternate Idea: Buy some movies you watched as a kid, or go rent a movie from the library. Pop some popcorn and have a movie night. Set aside one night a week to sit together and enjoy television. Use it as a tool to bring your family together. Don’t use it to babysit your kids or let yourself zone out. Good luck!

Memories in a Box

I can't seem to keep everything in my head. Do you have that problem too? If I write something down or create a list I can work all day long, but if it's not on paper where I can cross it off my list it's got about a 10% chance of success. With that in mind, I keep a wooden box on my dresser. Inside are blank index cards and a pen. It's a kit of sorts. See, I'm a single Dad now and I want to capture the moments that I might not remember later. So, at night before I go to bed I sometimes get that box off the dresser, pull out an index card and write my kid's name across the top with the date. Here's some examples:

7-10-11 I
You found your whistle today! You've had a fake whistle sound for a couple of years now - just ask me and I'll do it for you. Now you can really whistle. You did it for the first time at the Frost Bite when Grandmother and Granddaddy were visiting. We all cheered!

9-26-11 H
This morning before school you tied your shoes by yourself! I think you watched J and learned from her. I don't remember working with you on it, but that's just like you to pick it up on your own. You can even do double knots. So smart!

11-9-11 J
You lost your second tooth today. We snuggled on the couch in the evening and you wiggled you tooth. You let me grip it with a napkin and two tries later it came out! We laughed and looked at the tooth in your hand together.

It doesn't take long to collect a few dozen memories. On days I'm down or missing my kids, I can pull these out of the box and think about the great times we're able to share. If you are a single dad, or not, don't overlook all that advice about "they grow up so fast". I think I've heard that from every old person who's seen me in the grocery store by now. But, they're right you know. Sometimes you only notice your kids have grown when they get something off the kitchen table. You remember that just 6 months ago they couldn't even see over that table. How did they do that without you noticing? Collect the memories any way you can. You're not going to remember it all.