A Wise Young Man or An Old Foolish King

Ecclesiastes 4:13 A young man who is poor and wise is better than an old, foolish king who won't take advice any longer.

I saw this verse posted on Facebook a couple of days ago and it's been running through my thoughts. I think it was meant as a dig against President Obama right after his State of the Union speech. But where others see a verse about politics I see a verse that describes two very different people. How does one child become wise and another grow up to become a fool? I'm striving to aim my kids in the direction their life will go. Like an arrow aimed at a target, they are taking off and heading toward a destination. Will they be wise, or will they be a fool?

Think about young David for a moment with me. Do you think King David's father, Jessie, saw young David as a future king? I don't think any of David's family saw him that way growing up. They had no idea what God had in store for that shepherd boy. When the prophet Samuel showed up at Jesse's house to meet each of Jesse's eight boys, only seven of them were introduced. David, the youngest, was left out in the field tending the sheep. As Samuel looked over the seven sons presented to him that night, he even thought one of David's older brothers, Eliab, was God's chosen based on his appearance. But God is always looking deeper at our heart and character.

1 Samuel 16:6-7  And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD'S anointed is before him. But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.

David was soon anointed to be the next king over Israel and God's Spirit rested on him. And, we have all grown up reading how David fought Goliath. In fact, it's my son's favorite story. He can tell you how many stones David picked up (five), what Goliath called David (a dog), and which way Goliath fell down (forward). But before David ever fought Goliath, he was just a young man faithfully and obediently running an errand for his father. When David showed up at the front line his brothers clearly thought David was a boy among men.

1 Samuel 17:28-30  And Eliab his eldest brother heard when he spoke unto the men; and Eliab's anger was kindled against David, and he said, Why came you down here? and with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride, and the insolence of your heart; for you are come down that you might see the battle. And David said, What have I now done? Is it not a word? And he turned from him toward another, and spoke after the same manner: and the people answered him again after the former manner.

In spite of his brother's lowly opinion of him, David knew that Goliath was defying God. Something great and courageous stirred in David's young heart and he spoke up. Word got around the camp and he was invited to stand before Israel's first king, Saul. Saul agreed to let David represent all of Israel and fight Goliath. King Saul offered David his armor to wear in battle. David declined. He trusted in the sling and stones he'd used to fight off lions and bears in the sheep pastures. Wisdom, courage, simplicity, boldness, and a trust in God all in the heart of a young man. We know how the story turned out.

I'd like my kids to be like young David. I'd rather my kids be poor and wise than rich and foolish. I'd rather they be governed by God's Words than popular opinion. I'd rather they stand for Jesus than stand with the in-crowd. I'd rather they speak up for Truth than choose to fly under the radar unnoticed.

The king in Ecclesiastes 4:13 was a fool because he would no longer take any sound advice from anyone. He had all the position, all the money, and all the authority that came with his title. But age and life experience couldn't change the fact that he was still a fool for not listening to God.

PRAYER:
God, help my kids to have open hearts and listening ears. I want them to hear your Word and take it down into their hearts where it can change them. Don't let them be influenced by their classmates and what they see around them at school. Help our home to be a place where the kids' questions are answered with Your Truth and not my opinions or preferences. Keep me diligent.

Long Life? Don't Provoke Your Kids!

Ephesians 6:2-4  Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

So much of raising our kids is focused on their future. I think about what my kids will become, who they will marry, what kind of people they will turn out to be. You probably have thought about some of the same things too. Sometimes though it's all we can do to get through a single day without losing our patience.

I want to spend a minute talking about how we prepare our kids for the future. Ephesians 6:2 is a command with promise. If you are any kind of a Bible reader you've probably read that verse and wondered how long God is going to let you live for all the stuff you pulled growing up. I know I have!

So the promise says that if we honor our parents we may live long on the earth. First, it doesn't mean you ARE going to live a long time. But the grace of God will be watching over you and God only knows how long each of us are going to live. You do benefit from the promise. God's promises never fail. A long life is determined from God's perspective and not our own.

Job 14:5 Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. (NIV)

But, fathers, notice the whole passage. The promise if followed by a command to dads! It tells us not to provoke our children to anger, or wrath. Wrath here means to be enraged or exasperated. It's a condition where you become overtaken and overwhelmed by anger. The anger controls your actions and rules your heart.

Why not mothers? Let's face it guys. For the most part women have us beat here. They've got the whole nurturing thing kind of built in. Not to say all women do, but we don't need to take a poll on this one or wait for a study to be published. As a single Christian father I can tell you that I've had to LEARN how to be more nurturing. I'm more of a "walk it off" kind of parent than a "let me kiss it and make it better" kind of guy. Maybe you are too.

We really need to take time and consider the individual needs of each of our children. What are their strengths? How do they respond to discipline? Where are areas they need to mature? How can their personalities be shaped to honor God and not serve themselves? If we are honest about our obligation to teach and guide our kids we quickly learn how much we need to be in prayer for them and ourselves.

When we take shortcuts in answering the questions above (and all the other questions I didn't mention) we can find ourselves provoking our children and turning their hearts against us. Our shortcuts are reflected in their lives and hearts. We want them to listen to our counsel, not despise our influence. Let me leave you with this passage.

Proverbs 4:20-22  My son, attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

PRAYER:
God, help us as Fathers to have this kind of relationship with our children. We don't want to provoke them. We don't want to appease them. We want to give them words of life and wisdom that will follow them throughout their life and lead them choose and turn their hearts toward your Son Jesus.