Ephesians 6:2-4 Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So much of raising our kids is focused on their future. I think about what my kids will become, who they will marry, what kind of people they will turn out to be. You probably have thought about some of the same things too. Sometimes though it's all we can do to get through a single day without losing our patience.
I want to spend a minute talking about how we prepare our kids for the future. Ephesians 6:2 is a command with promise. If you are any kind of a Bible reader you've probably read that verse and wondered how long God is going to let you live for all the stuff you pulled growing up. I know I have!
So the promise says that if we honor our parents we may live long on the earth. First, it doesn't mean you ARE going to live a long time. But the grace of God will be watching over you and God only knows how long each of us are going to live. You do benefit from the promise. God's promises never fail. A long life is determined from God's perspective and not our own.
Job 14:5 Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. (NIV)
But, fathers, notice the whole passage. The promise if followed by a command to dads! It tells us not to provoke our children to anger, or wrath. Wrath here means to be enraged or exasperated. It's a condition where you become overtaken and overwhelmed by anger. The anger controls your actions and rules your heart.
Why not mothers? Let's face it guys. For the most part women have us beat here. They've got the whole nurturing thing kind of built in. Not to say all women do, but we don't need to take a poll on this one or wait for a study to be published. As a single Christian father I can tell you that I've had to LEARN how to be more nurturing. I'm more of a "walk it off" kind of parent than a "let me kiss it and make it better" kind of guy. Maybe you are too.
We really need to take time and consider the individual needs of each of our children. What are their strengths? How do they respond to discipline? Where are areas they need to mature? How can their personalities be shaped to honor God and not serve themselves? If we are honest about our obligation to teach and guide our kids we quickly learn how much we need to be in prayer for them and ourselves.
When we take shortcuts in answering the questions above (and all the other questions I didn't mention) we can find ourselves provoking our children and turning their hearts against us. Our shortcuts are reflected in their lives and hearts. We want them to listen to our counsel, not despise our influence. Let me leave you with this passage.
Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
PRAYER:
God, help us as Fathers to have this kind of relationship with our children. We don't want to provoke them. We don't want to appease them. We want to give them words of life and wisdom that will follow them throughout their life and lead them choose and turn their hearts toward your Son Jesus.
So much of raising our kids is focused on their future. I think about what my kids will become, who they will marry, what kind of people they will turn out to be. You probably have thought about some of the same things too. Sometimes though it's all we can do to get through a single day without losing our patience.
I want to spend a minute talking about how we prepare our kids for the future. Ephesians 6:2 is a command with promise. If you are any kind of a Bible reader you've probably read that verse and wondered how long God is going to let you live for all the stuff you pulled growing up. I know I have!
So the promise says that if we honor our parents we may live long on the earth. First, it doesn't mean you ARE going to live a long time. But the grace of God will be watching over you and God only knows how long each of us are going to live. You do benefit from the promise. God's promises never fail. A long life is determined from God's perspective and not our own.
Job 14:5 Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. (NIV)
But, fathers, notice the whole passage. The promise if followed by a command to dads! It tells us not to provoke our children to anger, or wrath. Wrath here means to be enraged or exasperated. It's a condition where you become overtaken and overwhelmed by anger. The anger controls your actions and rules your heart.
Why not mothers? Let's face it guys. For the most part women have us beat here. They've got the whole nurturing thing kind of built in. Not to say all women do, but we don't need to take a poll on this one or wait for a study to be published. As a single Christian father I can tell you that I've had to LEARN how to be more nurturing. I'm more of a "walk it off" kind of parent than a "let me kiss it and make it better" kind of guy. Maybe you are too.
We really need to take time and consider the individual needs of each of our children. What are their strengths? How do they respond to discipline? Where are areas they need to mature? How can their personalities be shaped to honor God and not serve themselves? If we are honest about our obligation to teach and guide our kids we quickly learn how much we need to be in prayer for them and ourselves.
When we take shortcuts in answering the questions above (and all the other questions I didn't mention) we can find ourselves provoking our children and turning their hearts against us. Our shortcuts are reflected in their lives and hearts. We want them to listen to our counsel, not despise our influence. Let me leave you with this passage.
Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
PRAYER:
God, help us as Fathers to have this kind of relationship with our children. We don't want to provoke them. We don't want to appease them. We want to give them words of life and wisdom that will follow them throughout their life and lead them choose and turn their hearts toward your Son Jesus.
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